So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
