After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
