Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
