I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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