Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
