Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
