i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
