Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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