So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she pinky promised me she was 18
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
