Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize