I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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