The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
