you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
