Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
