plz talk dirty to me
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
