i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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