Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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