He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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