I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
