But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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