his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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