I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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