Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think my mom watched the whole time
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
this hospital has no fireball
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
