Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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