It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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