I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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