Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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