BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
