I just pynch a tree in the face
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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