I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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