I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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