I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
