you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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