look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize