For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
