i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
