Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
