is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Mom said you looked used
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
