How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
