In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
