All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
