i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I know her cup size but not her name....
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