I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
