I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
