K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
