roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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