I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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