RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
