Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
