found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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