Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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