Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
God, I missed his penis.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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