his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
