Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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