i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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