there was a trapeze. enough said
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
