Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
