Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
