i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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