some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
