...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
