some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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