Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
