...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
