I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
