are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
