dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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