U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
