Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
