do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
